My apologies for my absence as of late. I never thought that a PC game would be able to control almost all of my life outside having to go to work. When I'm at work, all I wanna do is go home and level up my Dwarf Hunter. When I'm home, all I wanna do is level up my Dwarf Hunter. It's a vicious one way road with very few exits.
Anyways, I plan to take a step back from the game in about a week in order to do some reviews.
I've recently watched some really good movies, but I've been too distracted to actually comment on any of them.
I think the first step is ... oh, I don't know and I don't care. I'm enjoying what I'm doing.
Don't judge me!
Hope everyone is having a great December. This game has made me wash away the negativity of the holiday season by having something to look forward to right now.
Don't judge me!
See you all very soon.
Nathan
P.S. My Dwarf Hunter is currently @ Level 22 (not that anyone cares but me and those who play online with me).
Monday, December 12, 2005
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Note to self: must buy hand held tape recorder. Then I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
Stumbled across the title quote of this post the other night and found it rather amusing until I found out what movie it was from: The Stupids.
I didn't think much of it until I saw who directed it: John Landis. That, of course, got me curious about what he's been up to lately... just a click away and... oops, I shouldn't have.
Bat Boy - and apparently it's pre-production as we speak. Genres: Comedy / Horror / Musical. Of course, no plotline layed out whatsoever. I can't blame IMDb for not posting one either.
I decide to dig a little deeper... oh my... it's a musical based off of the Weekly World News tabloid of the "Bat Boy." I've attached a picture in case you've forgotten.
Apparently Bat Boy is a rock musical based on the discovery of the bat boy and his adaptation to the real world and trying to live a semi-normal life. Now John Landis is set to direct. Not really sure what to make of it.
But I still dig deeper... and find... Epic Proportions (in "announced" status). The premise, however, seems promising: A Depression-era comedy where a pair of no-good brothers start off as extras in a doomed movie about the biblical plagues. Could be funny... and it's a good sign that it doesn't include the word "musical."
We spin the wheel once more... and find... Show Dogs (in "announced" status as well). Obviously children's fodder, the premise revolves around a homeless Jack Russell terrier thrust into the dog show circuit.
At some point I began wondering why it is that Landis keeps getting funding for movies at all. Can you honestly think of the last good picture that he was at the helm of?
Coming to America**, which was released in 1988. Remember, I said "good" not "great." Coming to America was, for the most part, generally entertaining. Personally, this movie was overplayed way too much in the breakroom at work when I was employed with Office Depot. The lack of an actual cable connection led to employees bringing in videos to watch. In order to regain sanity, I recorded off several weeks of The Simpsons* reruns on FOX, packing them 10 episodes to a tape. The riots settled down soon after that.
(*Sidenote: this was back in 1996, when they still aired funny episodes as well as reruns.)
(**Sidenote: Eddie Murphy was funny back then, too.)
Clearly Landis has peaked at a director. He had a few before 1988 that are worth mentioning (Trading Places, Spies Like Us and ¡Three Amigos!) but seriously, can you think of the last picture he directed that was great?
The time frame when he was at the peak of his game was between the years of 1977 and 1981.
He gave us the following cult classics:
In that era, Landis could do no wrong. He created the framework for "gross out" comedies and mock satires, as well as established the horror-comedy, which really didn't exist until then. For such a groundbreaking director to cross several mediums and genres, he sure hasn't done much to be proud of lately.
It just proves how quickly your star can fade in Hollywood. I'm sure there are those that would out-right slap me in the face if I crossed their path after what I've said about Landis, but I don't care. If my resumé as a director looked like his, I'd be ashamed. What's worse is that the first movie he directed, Schlock, pretty much sums up his portfolio.
All this ranting about the failures of a Hollywood director just makes me think of Willis' post concerning Tom Bosley and a comic strip pertaining to life and our existance. After reading my comments on his post, maybe I was a little too harsh on Tom. Maybe I need to take a more neutral ground with Landis and offer him some beer and nachos ...maybe.
I didn't think much of it until I saw who directed it: John Landis. That, of course, got me curious about what he's been up to lately... just a click away and... oops, I shouldn't have.
Bat Boy - and apparently it's pre-production as we speak. Genres: Comedy / Horror / Musical. Of course, no plotline layed out whatsoever. I can't blame IMDb for not posting one either.
I decide to dig a little deeper... oh my... it's a musical based off of the Weekly World News tabloid of the "Bat Boy." I've attached a picture in case you've forgotten.Apparently Bat Boy is a rock musical based on the discovery of the bat boy and his adaptation to the real world and trying to live a semi-normal life. Now John Landis is set to direct. Not really sure what to make of it.
But I still dig deeper... and find... Epic Proportions (in "announced" status). The premise, however, seems promising: A Depression-era comedy where a pair of no-good brothers start off as extras in a doomed movie about the biblical plagues. Could be funny... and it's a good sign that it doesn't include the word "musical."
We spin the wheel once more... and find... Show Dogs (in "announced" status as well). Obviously children's fodder, the premise revolves around a homeless Jack Russell terrier thrust into the dog show circuit.
At some point I began wondering why it is that Landis keeps getting funding for movies at all. Can you honestly think of the last good picture that he was at the helm of?
Coming to America**, which was released in 1988. Remember, I said "good" not "great." Coming to America was, for the most part, generally entertaining. Personally, this movie was overplayed way too much in the breakroom at work when I was employed with Office Depot. The lack of an actual cable connection led to employees bringing in videos to watch. In order to regain sanity, I recorded off several weeks of The Simpsons* reruns on FOX, packing them 10 episodes to a tape. The riots settled down soon after that.
(*Sidenote: this was back in 1996, when they still aired funny episodes as well as reruns.)
(**Sidenote: Eddie Murphy was funny back then, too.)
Clearly Landis has peaked at a director. He had a few before 1988 that are worth mentioning (Trading Places, Spies Like Us and ¡Three Amigos!) but seriously, can you think of the last picture he directed that was great?
The time frame when he was at the peak of his game was between the years of 1977 and 1981.
He gave us the following cult classics:
- Kentucky Fried Movie (1977)
- Animal House (1978)
- The Blues Brothers (1980)
- An American Werewolf in London (1981)
In that era, Landis could do no wrong. He created the framework for "gross out" comedies and mock satires, as well as established the horror-comedy, which really didn't exist until then. For such a groundbreaking director to cross several mediums and genres, he sure hasn't done much to be proud of lately.
It just proves how quickly your star can fade in Hollywood. I'm sure there are those that would out-right slap me in the face if I crossed their path after what I've said about Landis, but I don't care. If my resumé as a director looked like his, I'd be ashamed. What's worse is that the first movie he directed, Schlock, pretty much sums up his portfolio.
All this ranting about the failures of a Hollywood director just makes me think of Willis' post concerning Tom Bosley and a comic strip pertaining to life and our existance. After reading my comments on his post, maybe I was a little too harsh on Tom. Maybe I need to take a more neutral ground with Landis and offer him some beer and nachos ...maybe.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.
I've just spent way too much time making sure that our store has the most organized chaos for this big holiday weekend shopping spree.
Every year we get more and more compliments about how organized it is compared to other retailers who aren't concerned about the customer's well-being as well as their saftey and security.
This year, I hope, should be no different.
There's nothing better than book-ending my Thanksgiving with an extremely late-night preparation for "Black Friday" and an early morning wake-up call that should chime in for me sometime around the vicinity of 2:00 AM.
Up at 2:00 AM. At work by 3:00 AM. Store opens at 5:00 AM for a seven hour sale. Thankfully, though, I should remain, for the majority of my shift, safely in the warehouse handling all large television carry-outs to cut down on traffic inside and outside the store. Yeah!
I hope that everyone (and yes, that means all three of you that read this) has a great Thanksgiving. Share time with the ones you love and eat until you're required to unbutton your pants just shy of them dropping down around your ankles. Lord knows I will be!
And if you're wondering where my title quote is from... it's from the greatest Christmas movie ever made. Some might argue, but that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
Happy Thanksgiving and I hope to have another review for you to enjoy sometime next week.
Gobble, gobble.
Every year we get more and more compliments about how organized it is compared to other retailers who aren't concerned about the customer's well-being as well as their saftey and security.
This year, I hope, should be no different.
There's nothing better than book-ending my Thanksgiving with an extremely late-night preparation for "Black Friday" and an early morning wake-up call that should chime in for me sometime around the vicinity of 2:00 AM.
Up at 2:00 AM. At work by 3:00 AM. Store opens at 5:00 AM for a seven hour sale. Thankfully, though, I should remain, for the majority of my shift, safely in the warehouse handling all large television carry-outs to cut down on traffic inside and outside the store. Yeah!
I hope that everyone (and yes, that means all three of you that read this) has a great Thanksgiving. Share time with the ones you love and eat until you're required to unbutton your pants just shy of them dropping down around your ankles. Lord knows I will be!
And if you're wondering where my title quote is from... it's from the greatest Christmas movie ever made. Some might argue, but that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.
Happy Thanksgiving and I hope to have another review for you to enjoy sometime next week.
Gobble, gobble.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Don’t touch that squirrel’s nuts! It’ll make him crazy!
Rating: 4 out of 5.
If Tim Burton was forced to shoot on location, would it then cease to be a Tim Burton film?
Probably not, but it sure does help.
When I began researching Burton’s films over the past two decades, I found quite a few of his films had been shot on location. However, as brilliant as these films may be, they still lacked the initial visual style that only Tim Burton could produce on a sound stage or on a studio back lot.
When I began researching Burton’s films over the past two decades, I found quite a few of his films had been shot on location. However, as brilliant as these films may be, they still lacked the initial visual style that only Tim Burton could produce on a sound stage or on a studio back lot.
Please don’t misunderstand me, though. All of Burton’s films have that specific “look and feel.” You can easily tell when you’re watching something that has had the “touch” of Tim Burton. His eccentric and off-beat sense of humor. His dark gothic images. His personal quest to have his lead protagonists as misunderstood and sometimes deeply disturbed outcasts.
The man is notoriously known for his fantastic vision and his ability to take that vision and create it into something tangible. In order to do this, he has to create his own controlled environments on a studio back lot. Here are some obvious examples from the past 15 years: Beetlejuice, Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Batman Returns, Sleepy Hollow and Planet of the Apes.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory isn’t any different.
I was extremely skeptical about seeing this movie. The trailers had me confused and puzzled during the onslaught of mostly crappy Hollywood blockbusters this past summer. I was even more concerned that Tim Burton was going to destroy a perfectly good movie by “re-inventing” it. Most remakes are fairly sub-par to the original material, especially when the original is usually so widely loved and respected. Treading in this water will almost always mean failure or at the most garnering a mediocre response. Almost always leaving us asking the eternal question of why?
Here are just a few examples:
Psycho 1960 / 1998
Charade 1963 / The Truth About Charlie 2002
War of the Worlds 1953 / 2005
Planet of the Apes 1968 / 2001
Manhunter 1986 / Red Dragon 2002
Charade 1963 / The Truth About Charlie 2002
War of the Worlds 1953 / 2005
Planet of the Apes 1968 / 2001
Manhunter 1986 / Red Dragon 2002
I grew up with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. This film held a special place in my heart as a child and still stakes a claim there today. It was a fantastically executed morality play on the horrors of poor parenting and spoiled children. I never read the book, either. While it may have been a requirement for some to complete a book report on the material, I never thought twice about picking it up just for leisure.
Where Burton went wrong in Planet of the Apes, he went in the polar opposite direction with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Burton, with the help of screenwriter John August (Big Fish, Go), take a possible disasterous re-make (or “re-invisioning” … or whatever) and turn it into an enjoyable and equally palatable movie.
Johnny Depp’s depiction of Willy Wonka is reminiscent of a deeply scarred and reclusive Mister Rogers (which is exactly what he was trying to do). While Depp does a brilliant job here, I still admire Gene Wilder’s portrayal more. Unlike Depp, Wilder gave age and maturity to the role, while at the same time the ability to “snap” at a moments notice, depicting the struggling duality in Wonka’s personality.
The Oompa Loompas were an interesting touch as well. Rather than employing several little people, Burton hires one and digitally multiplies him. Deep Roy (who you might recognize as the man who rode the snail in The Neverending Story) plays the Oompa Loompas with great ease, bringing additional enjoyment from the four musical numbers they perform for each of the four bad children.
Danny Elfman’s score is fun and creepy and in many ways still sounds too similar to everything else he’s done in the past (especially with Burton). Elfman also provided all of the singing voices of the Oompa Loompas, overdubbing himself dozens of times to create an Oompa Loompa chorus.
In conclusion, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a fun and delightful remake. The visuals are a nice added feature, too, compared to the dated material back in 1971. The slight tongue-in-cheek humor is still there, as well as the wild imagery, with an additional bonus of seeing what happened to the other four children after their mishaps in the factory as they’re escorted from the premises. A majority of the story is still there from before, and with a cast that’s better than the original (except Wilder), Charlie is a great version to bring home to the whole family… just don’t forget to pick up the original while you’re at it.
Friday, November 18, 2005
Who are you, man?! … I’m Batdog!
Underworld
Rating: 1 out of 5.
From the Property Assistant of Stargate and Independence Day!
You may balk at the first line of my review, but I’m serious. How does one jump from a property assistant to a feature film director, let alone have a gapping hole of 7 years in between, without doing anything? Len Wiseman, conveniently engaged (oops, now married) to the lead actress in this film, brings to life this poorly-executed cinematic turd.
I feel so horrible about this film that I’m opting not to give the DVD it’s usual advertising link on the right hand side of the review. Those feeling compelled to purchase this movie, I truly feel sorry for you. There are better things out there to entertain you … and this is not one of them, either.
I was a little more naive when I rented this movie over a year and a half ago. Today I wouldn’t even think twice about passing it by while it sits on the shelf at your local soon-to-be-bankrupt video store collecting dust. I seem to feel the need to visit a video store about once every nine to twelve months, thinking that I could be that much more satisfied if I actually put my hands on the movie that I want to watch that night. I guess that’s what happened back in March of 2004, when I walked the mostly vacant aisle of “New Releases.”
As excited as I was grabbing this title from the shelves of a cookie cutter rental facility, the only thing that I found truly exotic and entertaining about this supernatural monster action/thriller was the skin-tight vinyl and rubber outfits of Kate Beckinsale. Even that was frustrating since everything was so well under lit, you couldn’t make out too many of the curves of this unbelievably beautiful woman.
Kate Beckinsale (Pearl Harbor, Serendipidy) stars as Seline, a vampire death agent who hunts down lycans (werewolves) in attempts to even the score of a war that has been waging between the two species for the past thousand or so years. Scott Speedman (Dark Blue) enters the picture as a man pursued by the lycans for some sort of blood research. When Seline discovers that the lycans are after a human, she decides to intervene, which is not the will of the other vampires and all hell breaks loose. Seline awakens the vampire clan’s fearless leader, Viktor (Bill Nighy, much more entertaining in this), in attempts to restore power to the vampire hierarchy which seems (at least on the surface) to be based in some sort of corruption. The end product rather seems to be a political and social statement about racism.
In what seemed to be a possible interesting entry in the ongoing boring horror genre, Underworld failed in almost every way. It was very stylish with it’s action sequences, editing techniques and concept. However, it eventually fell into the abyss of all the other unoriginal sci-fi/horror/action films of the past 5 years: overdone blue-tint filtering cinematography, just enough CGI effects to make it stand out like a sore thumb and the fact that it’s really hard to sympathize with lead characters that you really don’t give a rats ass about.
Rating: 1 out of 5.
From the Property Assistant of Stargate and Independence Day!
You may balk at the first line of my review, but I’m serious. How does one jump from a property assistant to a feature film director, let alone have a gapping hole of 7 years in between, without doing anything? Len Wiseman, conveniently engaged (oops, now married) to the lead actress in this film, brings to life this poorly-executed cinematic turd.
I feel so horrible about this film that I’m opting not to give the DVD it’s usual advertising link on the right hand side of the review. Those feeling compelled to purchase this movie, I truly feel sorry for you. There are better things out there to entertain you … and this is not one of them, either.
I was a little more naive when I rented this movie over a year and a half ago. Today I wouldn’t even think twice about passing it by while it sits on the shelf at your local soon-to-be-bankrupt video store collecting dust. I seem to feel the need to visit a video store about once every nine to twelve months, thinking that I could be that much more satisfied if I actually put my hands on the movie that I want to watch that night. I guess that’s what happened back in March of 2004, when I walked the mostly vacant aisle of “New Releases.”
As excited as I was grabbing this title from the shelves of a cookie cutter rental facility, the only thing that I found truly exotic and entertaining about this supernatural monster action/thriller was the skin-tight vinyl and rubber outfits of Kate Beckinsale. Even that was frustrating since everything was so well under lit, you couldn’t make out too many of the curves of this unbelievably beautiful woman.
Kate Beckinsale (Pearl Harbor, Serendipidy) stars as Seline, a vampire death agent who hunts down lycans (werewolves) in attempts to even the score of a war that has been waging between the two species for the past thousand or so years. Scott Speedman (Dark Blue) enters the picture as a man pursued by the lycans for some sort of blood research. When Seline discovers that the lycans are after a human, she decides to intervene, which is not the will of the other vampires and all hell breaks loose. Seline awakens the vampire clan’s fearless leader, Viktor (Bill Nighy, much more entertaining in this), in attempts to restore power to the vampire hierarchy which seems (at least on the surface) to be based in some sort of corruption. The end product rather seems to be a political and social statement about racism.
In what seemed to be a possible interesting entry in the ongoing boring horror genre, Underworld failed in almost every way. It was very stylish with it’s action sequences, editing techniques and concept. However, it eventually fell into the abyss of all the other unoriginal sci-fi/horror/action films of the past 5 years: overdone blue-tint filtering cinematography, just enough CGI effects to make it stand out like a sore thumb and the fact that it’s really hard to sympathize with lead characters that you really don’t give a rats ass about.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
When your head says one thing and your whole life says another, your head always loses.
Let's just say I'm not in the mood to write a review today. This week has been rather nasty with the dark cloud of Jolly Ol' Saint Nick, pumpkin pies, murdered pine trees and Frankenstein's "turducken" looming above my cleanly-shaven head.
The first thing that chapped my hide today was the news that the third (and now apparently final) season of Arrested Development will be cut down from it's initial 22 episodes to a measley 13. I'm truly surprised that it lasted this long to begin with. For those of you who don't know, FOX is notorious for dropping shows, almost right after airing, when their Nielsen ratings are only par-for-the-course. Arrested Development's ratings had been rather low ever since it aired, struggling to find an audience. However, the show seemed to still pull in every critical praise from around the nation and grabbed 5 Emmy's for it's first season including "Outstanding Comedy Series." Several nominations and awards flourished since it's first broadcast.
When I meant that FOX was notorious for dropping shows quickly, just look at this example:
Head Cases aired for only two episodes and was canceled earlier this year. The producers of this show actually shot six, but FOX canned them after only two, not even broadcasting the other four that they paid for! I can't say I actually watched this show, but I do have sympathy for those who are creatively involved with a show and the FOX studio execs that they have to deal with, who almost always have a knee-jerk reaction to low ratings.
I'm waiting for the day that FOX greenlights a show, they shoot and put together a pilot, then they advertise the show as one of their "hot new shows" for their fall lineup and then they cancel the show before it ever airs.
Spent yesterday working and then was pleasantly surprised when I arrived home to find my Netflix movies patiently waiting for me in the mailbox. I attempted to watch one of them on Saturday evening, but the loss of sleep working a "clopen" shift (close the night before, open the next morning) snuck up on me. I crashed early that night after dosing off several times and watched John Huston's Key Largo late this morning.
Above average stereo-typical Humphrey Bogart noir picture where Bogart plays the typical anti-hero. Edward G. Robinson plays a mobster from the north who's taken over a small hotel run by a cripple, James Temple (Lionel Barrymore) and his daughter-in-law, Nora (Lauren Bacall). In this film, the mobsters reminisce about the "good 'ol days" of prohibition, hoping one day that it'll come back and when it does, they'll "do things right" this time by working together while Edward G. Robinson chews on every scene he's in on how much of a "bad ass" he really is. Check it out if you get the chance.
Sorry to disappoint about the absence of a review today. With working more nights for the next couple of months, I can see myself pecking away at the keyboard before heading off to unload a truck. Maybe I can use that time to my advantage. Until then, enjoy what I can post and I'll try dearly not to let all three of you down.
The first thing that chapped my hide today was the news that the third (and now apparently final) season of Arrested Development will be cut down from it's initial 22 episodes to a measley 13. I'm truly surprised that it lasted this long to begin with. For those of you who don't know, FOX is notorious for dropping shows, almost right after airing, when their Nielsen ratings are only par-for-the-course. Arrested Development's ratings had been rather low ever since it aired, struggling to find an audience. However, the show seemed to still pull in every critical praise from around the nation and grabbed 5 Emmy's for it's first season including "Outstanding Comedy Series." Several nominations and awards flourished since it's first broadcast.
When I meant that FOX was notorious for dropping shows quickly, just look at this example:
Head Cases aired for only two episodes and was canceled earlier this year. The producers of this show actually shot six, but FOX canned them after only two, not even broadcasting the other four that they paid for! I can't say I actually watched this show, but I do have sympathy for those who are creatively involved with a show and the FOX studio execs that they have to deal with, who almost always have a knee-jerk reaction to low ratings.
I'm waiting for the day that FOX greenlights a show, they shoot and put together a pilot, then they advertise the show as one of their "hot new shows" for their fall lineup and then they cancel the show before it ever airs.
Spent yesterday working and then was pleasantly surprised when I arrived home to find my Netflix movies patiently waiting for me in the mailbox. I attempted to watch one of them on Saturday evening, but the loss of sleep working a "clopen" shift (close the night before, open the next morning) snuck up on me. I crashed early that night after dosing off several times and watched John Huston's Key Largo late this morning.
Above average stereo-typical Humphrey Bogart noir picture where Bogart plays the typical anti-hero. Edward G. Robinson plays a mobster from the north who's taken over a small hotel run by a cripple, James Temple (Lionel Barrymore) and his daughter-in-law, Nora (Lauren Bacall). In this film, the mobsters reminisce about the "good 'ol days" of prohibition, hoping one day that it'll come back and when it does, they'll "do things right" this time by working together while Edward G. Robinson chews on every scene he's in on how much of a "bad ass" he really is. Check it out if you get the chance.
Sorry to disappoint about the absence of a review today. With working more nights for the next couple of months, I can see myself pecking away at the keyboard before heading off to unload a truck. Maybe I can use that time to my advantage. Until then, enjoy what I can post and I'll try dearly not to let all three of you down.
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
My intentions were to post a review today. I seriously debated the issue last night as I wanted to review a film that is considered to be a "classic." Now, not just a classic in a sense of what I like, but respected throughout the entertainment industry as one of the greatest pictures ever made.
I sat down in front of the computer last night, knowing I didn't have to go into work the next day. I decided to be a good boss and let my senior work today while I vegged out at home. That sounds horrible, but there's more to it.
He was initially scheduled off today, but some "killjoy" (also known as middle management) decided to have him come in for two hours to participate in a "round table" for new employees. They wanted to know how he was coming along and if maybe he needed additional training, thus ruining his day off. I told him he could work my shift, and in the process, I would work his Saturday morning shift so he could enjoy an entire weekend away from retail hell. He took me up on my offer, so now I sit here writing about it.
But I digress...
When I finally realized that writing a review to Chinatown would require some serious thought, pulling back the many layers of mystery, intrigue and incest, I decided it would take more than one night. In fact, when researching more about the production of this film, I realized that it would be rather time-consuming.
Chinatown, just in it's written form, is widely considered the pinnacle example of an original screenplay. Robert Towne was also the only one who took home an Oscar that night, even though the film itself was nominated for an additional 10 categories including Best Picture (the competition was fierce, including the champion that night; another film that is widely considered one of the greatest ever made).
With the holiday season quickly approaching us like a runaway locomotive, I came to the conclusion that I'll save the "heavy weight contenders" for sometime after Jolly Ol' Saint Nick passes by this house, stuffing all of our stockings with some sort of crude fuel source.
If you really want to know what's been eating away most of my spare time (besides work, of course), then please read the following disclaimers:
Stay away from the Hollywood Stock Exchange (HSX)
At first passing you might think "what's the big deal?" However, if you have any interest in the projected outcomes of the box office success of any films throughout the year, you'll soon sign up (which is free, by the way) and you'll be investing in no time. I started this several years ago, and am currently trending a net worth of just over $5 million (they start you off with just $2 million to invest). Even though there are probably several hundreds of thousands of other players out there right now with better portfolios (yes, I said portfolios), not quite tripling my initial net worth by investing in movie stocks and star bonds could turn out to be a respectable racket for me one day.
Avoid revisiting television shows on DVD
Sometimes they can swallow you whole without a seconds notice. By the time you realize you've spent way too much time watching shows like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Dead Like Me" or "The Shield" (just to name a few), it's already too late. What you are about to read is my live journal entry from December of last year:
----------
...this will be a short post...
This is a rather frightening time for me... it's been approximately 17 days since my last post and I have gone through three seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." That's 66 episodes of Joss Whedon goodness. Counting the first season, I've viewed 78 episodes in a month's time. Actually, that's down right disturbing!
I can't help but be addicted to some of the most creative and humorous writing on television today... and I missed it when it originally broadcast. My friend Ryan and his wife have been extremely generous in lending out all of the DVD sets they have (which includes all but the 7th).
This weekend I'll be in Chattanooga visiting with family. It will give me a chance to slow down and stop the Buffy consumption for a couple of days. Here's hoping I won't be going through too many withdrawals come Sunday night!
----------
Be afraid... be very afraid. Before you know it you'll have turned 30 years old and attempt to write movie reviews for a hobby.
(insert nervous laughter here)
Until this weekend, dear readers.
[Title Quote From: Fight Club]
I sat down in front of the computer last night, knowing I didn't have to go into work the next day. I decided to be a good boss and let my senior work today while I vegged out at home. That sounds horrible, but there's more to it.
He was initially scheduled off today, but some "killjoy" (also known as middle management) decided to have him come in for two hours to participate in a "round table" for new employees. They wanted to know how he was coming along and if maybe he needed additional training, thus ruining his day off. I told him he could work my shift, and in the process, I would work his Saturday morning shift so he could enjoy an entire weekend away from retail hell. He took me up on my offer, so now I sit here writing about it.
But I digress...
When I finally realized that writing a review to Chinatown would require some serious thought, pulling back the many layers of mystery, intrigue and incest, I decided it would take more than one night. In fact, when researching more about the production of this film, I realized that it would be rather time-consuming.
Chinatown, just in it's written form, is widely considered the pinnacle example of an original screenplay. Robert Towne was also the only one who took home an Oscar that night, even though the film itself was nominated for an additional 10 categories including Best Picture (the competition was fierce, including the champion that night; another film that is widely considered one of the greatest ever made).
With the holiday season quickly approaching us like a runaway locomotive, I came to the conclusion that I'll save the "heavy weight contenders" for sometime after Jolly Ol' Saint Nick passes by this house, stuffing all of our stockings with some sort of crude fuel source.
If you really want to know what's been eating away most of my spare time (besides work, of course), then please read the following disclaimers:
Stay away from the Hollywood Stock Exchange (HSX)
At first passing you might think "what's the big deal?" However, if you have any interest in the projected outcomes of the box office success of any films throughout the year, you'll soon sign up (which is free, by the way) and you'll be investing in no time. I started this several years ago, and am currently trending a net worth of just over $5 million (they start you off with just $2 million to invest). Even though there are probably several hundreds of thousands of other players out there right now with better portfolios (yes, I said portfolios), not quite tripling my initial net worth by investing in movie stocks and star bonds could turn out to be a respectable racket for me one day.
Avoid revisiting television shows on DVD
Sometimes they can swallow you whole without a seconds notice. By the time you realize you've spent way too much time watching shows like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", "Dead Like Me" or "The Shield" (just to name a few), it's already too late. What you are about to read is my live journal entry from December of last year:
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...this will be a short post...
This is a rather frightening time for me... it's been approximately 17 days since my last post and I have gone through three seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." That's 66 episodes of Joss Whedon goodness. Counting the first season, I've viewed 78 episodes in a month's time. Actually, that's down right disturbing!
I can't help but be addicted to some of the most creative and humorous writing on television today... and I missed it when it originally broadcast. My friend Ryan and his wife have been extremely generous in lending out all of the DVD sets they have (which includes all but the 7th).
This weekend I'll be in Chattanooga visiting with family. It will give me a chance to slow down and stop the Buffy consumption for a couple of days. Here's hoping I won't be going through too many withdrawals come Sunday night!
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Be afraid... be very afraid. Before you know it you'll have turned 30 years old and attempt to write movie reviews for a hobby.
(insert nervous laughter here)
Until this weekend, dear readers.
[Title Quote From: Fight Club]
Saturday, November 5, 2005
It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.
Batman Begins
Rating: 5 out of 5.
I am not a Batman Scholar. I’m not even the assistant to the assistant to a Batman Scholar. A majority of my knowledge of Batman comes from the following mediums: Syndicated reruns of the 1960s “Batman” television show, the first three feature films, the occasional viewing of Batman: The Animated Series on the WB and a small period in my life when I felt it was necessary to invest in several Batman Comics with no set continuity whatsoever. The latter came to an abrupt end when I realized that DC Comics were out to take every last penny of mine by having Batman storyline arcs jump from one comic to another (Detective Comics, Batman, Legends of The Dark Knight, Shadow of the Bat and even Robin), having to invest in five issues a month rather than one or two.
Needless to say, what I know of Batman would seem somewhat limited. This does not, however, keep me from knowing a great film when I see one. Batman Begins is a fantastic tour de force of comic book heroics, brilliant storytelling and gritty realism. This is the best movie of the Batman franchise, though Tim Burton’s Batman will always hold a special place in my heart (give me a break, I was 13 when it hit the theaters). Unlike Burton’s Batman, with its over-the-top theatrics and incredible but unrealistic sets, Batman Begins grounds itself first and foremost in a realistic setting.
Everything about this film is believable. Not once when watching this film did I not believe that the city of Gotham actually existed (it helps when you film city exteriors in an actual city). You feel the pain and loss of Bruce Wayne when his parent’s are gunned down in the streets. You understand why he disappears for a great length of time. You see Bruce Wayne’s character truly defined when he chooses not to become an “executioner” knowing that there are some, if not many, still worth saving. The believability of Batman and his “wonderful toys” seems to make that much more sense once you know how he went about acquiring them.
Director Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia) finally brings back credibility to the Batman franchise, leaving behind the rubber-nippled, giant cod-pieced bat suits, whining sidekicks, and ever-increasing number of over-the-top super-villains (I could easily make more remarks at Joel Schumacher’s version of Batman, but I’ll save that for another time). David S. Goyer, whose checkered screenwriting résumé (Dark City, Blade, The Crow: City of Angels) could have been called into question, delivers a solid story with minimal cheese. I’m sure this was also due, in part, to the fact that Nolan co-wrote the screenplay.
There aren’t very many “one-liners” in this film like Burton’s, and Batman doesn’t really have his own theme song. The score simply adds to the essence of the film without becoming its own character. His gadgets make sense, his purpose is justified and his goals are easily obtainable with his company being secure (What does a billionaire do with his free time? Whatever he wants).
Batman Begins, unlike its predecessors, comes off with a level of intelligence that none of the other films were able to obtain. The cast is phenomenal, with almost all of the actors hailing from the British Isles, including Christian Bale (Wales), Liam Neeson (Ireland), Michael Caine (England), Gary Oldman (England) Cillian Murphy (Ireland) and Tom Wilkinson (England). Rounding out the rest of the cast are: Morgan Freeman (playing, for the most part, but in a good way, Morgan Freeman), Katie Holmes (playing, for the most part, Joey Potter from “Dawson’s Creek” with a law degree), Ken Wantanabe and Rutger Hauer.
Christian Bale perfectly embodies Bruce Wayne, billionaire playboy and Batman, slightly psychotic vigilante madman out to clean up the streets (and his ability to change from one character to another with the “flick” of a light switch). Gary Oldman brilliantly portrays Lieutenant James Gordon (so much so that Nazlan had no idea it was Oldman until the credits rolled), and is incredibly reminiscent of Gordon in Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One. These two play well together. They’re unlikely allies in a city full of corruption from the streets all the way up to city hall.
The film is dark, menacing and disturbing… and every bit of it is enjoyable. Batman Begins successfully reboots the once mistreated franchise by giving the story and characters the respect they deserve. “Gotham isn’t beyond saving,” Bruce Wayne said. Christopher Nolan took the franchise by the horns and made a similar statement: “Batman isn’t beyond saving.” I would have to agree with him.
[Title Quote From: Batman Begins]
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
I'm still sort of moved by your "My word is stronger than oak" thing.
My intentions were to have a review (a small one, at least) posted by tomorrow afternoon after coming home from work.
Work, however, has side tracked my current venture.
Hey you! Ya you! You three! They help me pay the bills... so turn that frown upside down.
Things are kinda hectic here at home (as well as at work). Maintaining a proper balance of subtle seriousness and humor is extremely difficult when the mental-stability of the household has been vigorously shaken like an Etch-A-Sketch in a toddler's hands. That and it's extremely difficult to play a game of baseball when you're currently missing your catcher, left and center fielders as well as a shortstop (my analogy for being understaffed at work right now).
My promise to you is that I'll take notes tomorrow night... and try to get a post out by Saturday afternoon. It would be earlier, but I have an early morning meeting to attend at the Yellow Tag.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner... God help us all!
[Title Quote From: Jerry Maguire]
Work, however, has side tracked my current venture.
Hey you! Ya you! You three! They help me pay the bills... so turn that frown upside down.
Things are kinda hectic here at home (as well as at work). Maintaining a proper balance of subtle seriousness and humor is extremely difficult when the mental-stability of the household has been vigorously shaken like an Etch-A-Sketch in a toddler's hands. That and it's extremely difficult to play a game of baseball when you're currently missing your catcher, left and center fielders as well as a shortstop (my analogy for being understaffed at work right now).
My promise to you is that I'll take notes tomorrow night... and try to get a post out by Saturday afternoon. It would be earlier, but I have an early morning meeting to attend at the Yellow Tag.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner... God help us all!
[Title Quote From: Jerry Maguire]
Monday, October 31, 2005
Life is like a movie. Only you can't pick your genre.
"Stu, Stu, Stu, what's your motive? Billy's got one, the police are on their way, what are you gonna tell them?"
"Peer pressure, I'm far too sensitive." --Scream (1996)
Happy Halloween, everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean all 3 people who are reading this. For those who don't have the time to dedicate themselves to 90+ minutes of blood and guts, I present to you Angry Alien Productions "30 Second Bunny Theatre."
(An entire feature-length film re-enacted by bunnies in 30 seconds.)
Here are the highlights for today:
Freddy vs. Jason
The Exorcist
Scream
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Alien
The Shining
JAWS (save this one for last; it's worth it.)
I'm sure there are those of you who are familiar with "30 Second Bunny Theatre" from Starz In Demand, but for those who don't have digital cable (and never will), these should be a riot. I have seen all but one in it's original form (Freddy vs. Jason).
Hope you all have a great evening. I hope to have a new review posted by Wednesday night if all goes well.
[Title Quote From: Scream]
"Peer pressure, I'm far too sensitive." --Scream (1996)
Happy Halloween, everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean all 3 people who are reading this. For those who don't have the time to dedicate themselves to 90+ minutes of blood and guts, I present to you Angry Alien Productions "30 Second Bunny Theatre."
(An entire feature-length film re-enacted by bunnies in 30 seconds.)
Here are the highlights for today:
Freddy vs. Jason
The Exorcist
Scream
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Alien
The Shining
JAWS (save this one for last; it's worth it.)
I'm sure there are those of you who are familiar with "30 Second Bunny Theatre" from Starz In Demand, but for those who don't have digital cable (and never will), these should be a riot. I have seen all but one in it's original form (Freddy vs. Jason).
Hope you all have a great evening. I hope to have a new review posted by Wednesday night if all goes well.
[Title Quote From: Scream]
Sunday, October 30, 2005
So this is planet Houston.
Superman II
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Let me start off by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed Superman II (as a child). I distinctly remember sitting at home watching ABC’s televised broadcast of the movie on my parent’s Betamax. I remember this because I had to fast forward through the commercials with the remote (which was still attached to the unit by a cord). The Betamax had been moved into my parent’s bedroom with the spare television set when they finally decided to invest in a “fancy” VHS VCR and Camcorder combo unit for our summer vacation trip.
Back when I was a kid, you didn’t have the luxury of purchasing prerecorded videos so they could be watched at anytime. You waited for a television broadcast or when it was released for rental at a video store. A television broadcast of a big budget movie was a regular event to look forward to in the 1980s (as well as earlier, I presume). Watching a network television broadcast movie didn’t cost you’re parents anything and there was a better chance that they would let you watch it (considering the censors would remove all of the naughty bits and cover up all of the language so they didn’t violate FCC regulations).
I had the first two Superman movies basically memorized by the time I was in middle school. Now that I’m older, after viewing Superman II yesterday afternoon I came to the realization (again) that televised broadcasts can sometimes include footage that isn’t in the original theatrical release. There were specific scenes that I personally remembered watching many times before and not seeing them today. This, of course, did not cross my mind when I first watched the DVD soon after acquiring it back in 2001.
What I find most disappointing about this film now, compared to when it was released over 20 years ago, is that the element of cheese is much higher than before. This cannot really be said of the first film. The first Superman holds up quite well almost 30 years from it’s initial release. Superman II, however, gets worse every time I see it.
Watching this film now, with the maturity that I did not possess when I was a child, I realized that Superman II is really a morality tale. There is a lesson to be learned when you don’t abstain from having premarital sex, especially when you’re a superhero. Superman decides that it’s worth risking everything, losing all of your super powers, just to have sex with Lois Lane. And what happens shortly after this event? Clark Kent gets his ass handed to him by a bully truck driver in a diner. Three not-so-well-landed punches has him on the ground, semi-delusional. Clark is so shocked by his own pain that he doesn’t know how to react. Lois Lane at least fights back (if you call jumping on the truck driver’s back fighting).
Of course, in an attempt to calm down the patrons in the restaurant, the waitress turns on the television and offers to get everyone some fresh coffee. The television slowly comes to life with perfect timing to announce that General Zod has taken over the United States in the course of just a few days. You see what happens when you get hung up on physical urges? Three super villains, apparently from your own home planet, come down to earth hungry as hell for world domination. And let us not forget how they were released from imprisonment: a hydrogen bomb that you released out in space instead of leaving it burrowed in the elevator of the Eiffel Tower. Personally, the French have had it coming for quite some time (but that’s an entirely different post altogether).
Nazlan and myself came to the conclusion, while watching the “udderly” cheese-induced Superman II, that nothing good came of Superman and his newly acquired ability to fornicate. In fact, it was a rather selfish move on his part. Because he decided to bust a super-nut in Lois Lane (yeah, he says he’s “in love”, but don’t they all), he chooses to lose his powers. Apparently taking an oath to “defend the Earth and to protect all of Mankind” is a serious commitment …at least until a girl is willing to touch your pepe.
It may be on a larger scale, but he makes all of the rash decisions that any teenager makes when going through puberty: (1) he feels funny in his tights, so he jumps to the conclusion that he’s “in love” despite parental disapproval and Margot Kidder’s psycho eyes, (2) he gives up much more than he anticipated or should have just to get her out of her pants, and (3) much like a broken condom, the results of his actions tear apart the lives of everyone around him.
In conclusion, the forced lesson of the movie is a simple message, “Superheroes shouldn’t get laid.” If they do, it’s guaranteed that some inter-dimensional jackass with a generic Eastern-European accent and an urge to breathe all over everything will come down and destroy the world.
It’s obvious that Mario Puzo wanted to remind us how important it is for superheroes to not have any social life whatsoever, unless it’s with another superhero. To back this claim up, I’ll leave you with a short dialogue exchange from Kevin Smith’s Mallrats:
Brody: “It’s impossible, Lois could never have Superman’s baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it’s strong enough to carry her child?”
T.S. Quint: “Sure, why not?”
Brody: “He’s an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth’s yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.”
Watching this film now, with the maturity that I did not possess when I was a child, I realized that Superman II is really a morality tale. There is a lesson to be learned when you don’t abstain from having premarital sex, especially when you’re a superhero. Superman decides that it’s worth risking everything, losing all of your super powers, just to have sex with Lois Lane. And what happens shortly after this event? Clark Kent gets his ass handed to him by a bully truck driver in a diner. Three not-so-well-landed punches has him on the ground, semi-delusional. Clark is so shocked by his own pain that he doesn’t know how to react. Lois Lane at least fights back (if you call jumping on the truck driver’s back fighting).
Of course, in an attempt to calm down the patrons in the restaurant, the waitress turns on the television and offers to get everyone some fresh coffee. The television slowly comes to life with perfect timing to announce that General Zod has taken over the United States in the course of just a few days. You see what happens when you get hung up on physical urges? Three super villains, apparently from your own home planet, come down to earth hungry as hell for world domination. And let us not forget how they were released from imprisonment: a hydrogen bomb that you released out in space instead of leaving it burrowed in the elevator of the Eiffel Tower. Personally, the French have had it coming for quite some time (but that’s an entirely different post altogether).
Nazlan and myself came to the conclusion, while watching the “udderly” cheese-induced Superman II, that nothing good came of Superman and his newly acquired ability to fornicate. In fact, it was a rather selfish move on his part. Because he decided to bust a super-nut in Lois Lane (yeah, he says he’s “in love”, but don’t they all), he chooses to lose his powers. Apparently taking an oath to “defend the Earth and to protect all of Mankind” is a serious commitment …at least until a girl is willing to touch your pepe.
It may be on a larger scale, but he makes all of the rash decisions that any teenager makes when going through puberty: (1) he feels funny in his tights, so he jumps to the conclusion that he’s “in love” despite parental disapproval and Margot Kidder’s psycho eyes, (2) he gives up much more than he anticipated or should have just to get her out of her pants, and (3) much like a broken condom, the results of his actions tear apart the lives of everyone around him.
In conclusion, the forced lesson of the movie is a simple message, “Superheroes shouldn’t get laid.” If they do, it’s guaranteed that some inter-dimensional jackass with a generic Eastern-European accent and an urge to breathe all over everything will come down and destroy the world.
It’s obvious that Mario Puzo wanted to remind us how important it is for superheroes to not have any social life whatsoever, unless it’s with another superhero. To back this claim up, I’ll leave you with a short dialogue exchange from Kevin Smith’s Mallrats:
Brody: “It’s impossible, Lois could never have Superman’s baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think it’s strong enough to carry her child?”
T.S. Quint: “Sure, why not?”
Brody: “He’s an alien, for Christ sake. His Kyrptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earth’s yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him.”
[Title Quote From: Superman II]
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