A character discovers a note in an antique book. What does the note say?
Grant Shepherd stood idle as his eyes scanned the bookshelf. The store had labeled the section where he browsed, "Slightly Used." As his fingers gently brushed the spines of several quite tattered novels, Grant suddenly came across a title that caught his attention, "The Count of Monte Cristo" by Alexander Dumas.
As he carefully pulled the book from the third shelf down, a small yellow piece of paper softly fell to the floor. Rather than examining the book further, Grant placed the well-worn volume back upon the shelf and squatted down to retrieve the slip of paper.
The piece of paper, which had turned yellowed due to age, was folded in half. Inside the note, written with a thick felt-tip pen was "This isn't the book you're looking for."
Grant, suddenly overwhelmed with fear and paranoia, promptly put the note back into the novel, placing it right where it sat before he had moved it. Grant quickly made his way to the front of the store, exiting out onto the busy street.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
5 Reasons Why The Liquidation Didn't Suck
#5 - MAKING YOUR OWN SCHEDULE / DRESS CODE
When the final weeks had arrived, several supervisors had been stripped of their title, their register and time card overriding abilities and had their keys taken away. Most of them, along with every other associate, decided that they didn't care what they wore, as long as they still wore their Circuit City shirt. For at least one former supervisor, he came in everyday in jeans, tennis shoes and a ball cap. He was so fed up with everything that by the time the last day came, he walked in, realized that he couldn't take it anymore, shook my hand and walked out.
#4 - FRUIT LOOP
Three days before close, an irate customer came in claiming that he had spoken to our corporate offices and said he was allowed to return his Circuit City Advantage Plan (extended warranty). Our store director was brought in, who then quickly shouted, "This is private property, sir and I want you to GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE!" and then proceeded to escort him to the door. He said he wasn't going to leave, but was going to stand right outside the store and call our corporate offices again.
A few minutes later my store director contacted me on our two-way radios and asked, "Nathan, has that fruit loop left yet? Cause I've printed out all the documentation about our return policies during liquidation." I jokingly replied, "Yeah, he left. Once he got off the phone, he came in and asked which car he could key and I pointed him in the direction of yours." We all had a nice laugh.
#3 - READING WHILE WORKING
Getting stuck up at the receipt-stamping table stunk if you were there most of your shift. The days began to drag horribly because you had nothing to do but answer the most retarded and mundane questions from every customer that walked into the store. What was worse than all of it, was having apathetic sales employees who were standing at my table who weren't willing to assist the continual flood of customers who kept asking for help out on the sales floor. Once I had to endure one 8 hour shift, I decided to bring in my book and read it in between stamping receipts. It probably cut down on the stupid questions by a good 20% and I finished my book with two days to spare.
#2 - CUSTOMERS CALL THE POLICE
Three days before closing, a couple came in and purchased a $330 monitor for approximately $50. It was an open item, possibly a display. They returned to the store soon after the purchase, as they had discovered it wasn't working. They paraded up and down the entire store, trying to get someone "in charge" to process a return for them. When they discovered that little stunt wouldn't work, they tried another one: calling the police.
When the police arrived, the customers accosted the poor officer, who had to stand there and listen to them bitch for what seemed like 15 minutes. They tried to convince the officer that they had been a victim of "theft by deception." The officer politely, but blatantly, pointed to the sign outside and said, "Look. Right there. The sign reads 'GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE.' There are signs posted throughout the store, as well as stamped on your receipt, 'ALL SALES FINAL. NO RETURNS.' What part of that do you not understand?"
#1 – THE BEST LUNCH BREAK EVER
As the days wore on, it became increasingly difficult to find things to do if you weren't scheduled in the morning. If you weren't assigned to either a register (which was hard enough to get customer service to stay put), or stuck at the receipt-stamping table, you either got stuck walking the sales floor "assisting customers," hiding in the back while surfing on the Internet, or most associates ended up standing around the receipt-stamping table bulls***ing with everyone else.
Not wanting to waste the entire day doing nothing while getting paid (I know it sounds like a dream job, but knowing what the end result will be, it got to you after a while if you're generally a productive person), so I decided to do what any other bright-minded individual would do with an afternoon to spare: Go to the movies!
At approximately 12:40 pm, I left the store, swung by Wendy's and wolfed down three burgers, on the way to the multiplex. As I sat in the darkened theater waiting for The Wrestler to start, I was half expecting to get at least one phone call or text message from a manager asking me where I was. Thankfully that never happened. What was even more amusing was that the film started 10 minutes late and had at least 20+ minutes of trailers before the feature even started. I didn't stroll back into the store until a quarter past three. Not one question was asked to where I had been. It was like I had never left in the first place.
Honorable Mentions: Telling customers that we couldn't return their product, which for some reason, they couldn't seem to comprehend; Stashing product in the warehouse until the sales dropped to 70% off; Playing Liquidation BINGO.
When the final weeks had arrived, several supervisors had been stripped of their title, their register and time card overriding abilities and had their keys taken away. Most of them, along with every other associate, decided that they didn't care what they wore, as long as they still wore their Circuit City shirt. For at least one former supervisor, he came in everyday in jeans, tennis shoes and a ball cap. He was so fed up with everything that by the time the last day came, he walked in, realized that he couldn't take it anymore, shook my hand and walked out.
#4 - FRUIT LOOP
Three days before close, an irate customer came in claiming that he had spoken to our corporate offices and said he was allowed to return his Circuit City Advantage Plan (extended warranty). Our store director was brought in, who then quickly shouted, "This is private property, sir and I want you to GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE!" and then proceeded to escort him to the door. He said he wasn't going to leave, but was going to stand right outside the store and call our corporate offices again.
A few minutes later my store director contacted me on our two-way radios and asked, "Nathan, has that fruit loop left yet? Cause I've printed out all the documentation about our return policies during liquidation." I jokingly replied, "Yeah, he left. Once he got off the phone, he came in and asked which car he could key and I pointed him in the direction of yours." We all had a nice laugh.
#3 - READING WHILE WORKING
Getting stuck up at the receipt-stamping table stunk if you were there most of your shift. The days began to drag horribly because you had nothing to do but answer the most retarded and mundane questions from every customer that walked into the store. What was worse than all of it, was having apathetic sales employees who were standing at my table who weren't willing to assist the continual flood of customers who kept asking for help out on the sales floor. Once I had to endure one 8 hour shift, I decided to bring in my book and read it in between stamping receipts. It probably cut down on the stupid questions by a good 20% and I finished my book with two days to spare.
#2 - CUSTOMERS CALL THE POLICE
Three days before closing, a couple came in and purchased a $330 monitor for approximately $50. It was an open item, possibly a display. They returned to the store soon after the purchase, as they had discovered it wasn't working. They paraded up and down the entire store, trying to get someone "in charge" to process a return for them. When they discovered that little stunt wouldn't work, they tried another one: calling the police.
When the police arrived, the customers accosted the poor officer, who had to stand there and listen to them bitch for what seemed like 15 minutes. They tried to convince the officer that they had been a victim of "theft by deception." The officer politely, but blatantly, pointed to the sign outside and said, "Look. Right there. The sign reads 'GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE.' There are signs posted throughout the store, as well as stamped on your receipt, 'ALL SALES FINAL. NO RETURNS.' What part of that do you not understand?"
#1 – THE BEST LUNCH BREAK EVER
As the days wore on, it became increasingly difficult to find things to do if you weren't scheduled in the morning. If you weren't assigned to either a register (which was hard enough to get customer service to stay put), or stuck at the receipt-stamping table, you either got stuck walking the sales floor "assisting customers," hiding in the back while surfing on the Internet, or most associates ended up standing around the receipt-stamping table bulls***ing with everyone else.
Not wanting to waste the entire day doing nothing while getting paid (I know it sounds like a dream job, but knowing what the end result will be, it got to you after a while if you're generally a productive person), so I decided to do what any other bright-minded individual would do with an afternoon to spare: Go to the movies!
At approximately 12:40 pm, I left the store, swung by Wendy's and wolfed down three burgers, on the way to the multiplex. As I sat in the darkened theater waiting for The Wrestler to start, I was half expecting to get at least one phone call or text message from a manager asking me where I was. Thankfully that never happened. What was even more amusing was that the film started 10 minutes late and had at least 20+ minutes of trailers before the feature even started. I didn't stroll back into the store until a quarter past three. Not one question was asked to where I had been. It was like I had never left in the first place.
Honorable Mentions: Telling customers that we couldn't return their product, which for some reason, they couldn't seem to comprehend; Stashing product in the warehouse until the sales dropped to 70% off; Playing Liquidation BINGO.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Top 15 Albums
I was recently challenged to name my Top 15 Albums of all time. Something like this is much harder for me to put into place than films. The reasoning behind it is that there are certain albums that are so personal that it's hard to even describe how they've affectived your life emotionally. Also, it's pretty hard for me just to give a list without some kind of explanation or personal insight for each one.
So, without further adu, my Top 15 Albums:
1. Ten : Pearl Jam
The quintessential album of the 1990s. I can't even remember the first time I heard this album, but it soon embodied what everything was about high school and how this specific genre of music, known as grunge, seemed to speak to my generation. Pearl Jam has yet to ever trap lightening in a bottle again as they did with this recording, although their sophmore follow-up, Vs. was pretty close.
2. OK Computer : Radiohead
I didn't really care for Radiohead when they first hit the music scene with their single "Creep." It wasn't until about three years after this album released that I was re-introduced to them by my new co-worker and friend Dave Nelson. I bought the CD, popped it into my deck as I drove home and didn't really care for it. But then something happened. I kept listening to it over and over again. Before I knew it, I had to force myself to listen to something else. This was, in my honest opinion, the perfect example of Alternative Rock.
3. In Loving Memory Of... : Big Wreck
Sometimes the best finds are the ones you get for free. My friend Brandon gave me a copy of this CD when I was working with him several years ago. He told me it was one of the best produced albums he had heard recently (like I really knew or understood what that meant at the time). Since it's introduction to my collection (with a legitimate copy, I might add), I still find the album thoroughly refreshing. Too bad the Canadian band didn't get much air play down here in the states before they broke up.
4. Achtung Baby : U2
This was, if memory serves me correctly, the first Compact Disc I ever bought. It was when they were still packaging them in the long cardboard covers used as some kind of theft deterrent. U2 seemed to be one of only a few music artists of their time that were capable of reinventing themselves, and they did just that with album. It was such a diversion from what they had done in the past, it was nothing that I had ever heard before. I was taken by it almost immediately.
5. Train of Thought : Dream Theater
Dream Theater was another band that took some time before I actually enjoyed listening to them. I recognized their talent almost immediately, but wasn't familiar nor comfortable with their style just yet. It took several years and many re-visits to certain CDs to appreciate them. This album, however, spoke to me immediately and I feel it is their most accomplished set.
6. Crash : Dave Matthews Band
I was never on the inside track when indie and college campus artists were starting to hit the scene. I knew a few friends who enjoyed Dave Matthews Band who loved them before they were all over mainstream radio. However, once they broke through, I couldn't get enough and this, to me, is their best recording, while Under the Table and Dreaming is a close second. I also gained a new admiration of this album when I started dating my wife.
7. The Bends : Radiohead
I purchased this album along with OK Computer. Both albums had the same affect upon their first playing. I didn't like it. But it eventually grew on me and now I can't imagine ever being without this CD in my collection. Either Radiohead was ahead of it's time musically or it took some time before I matured in my musical appreciation.
8. American Idiot : Green Day
Political themes aside, I was blown away the first time I listened to this album from beginning to end. I had been a Green Day fan for close to a decade when they release this back in 2004. It made me realize how much Billie Joe Armstrong had matured as lyricist as well as a musician. While most believe that Dookie is their unsung masterpiece, I will always point to this album first.
9. The Dark Side Of The Moon : Pink Floyd
My best friend Ryan started listening to Pink Floyd soon after high school, but I wasn't having any part of it. It wouldn't be until much later that I learned to appreciate the brilliance of David Gilmour and Roger Waters. I still have a hard time connecting with anything involving Syd Barrett. I am sorry to admit, however, that I have yet to play this album simultaneously while watching The Wizard Of Oz.
10. Abby Road : The Beatles
My good buddy Travis turned me on to listening to The Beatles, and while I greatly enjoyed the brilliance of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, I really connected with Abby Road. Each song plays like a mini masterpiece, showing how much depth and range each member had and what they brought to the table contributed to the uniqueness of each track.
11. Third Eye Blind : Third Eye Blind
I almost gave this CD away upon it's first listening to a co-worker. Fortunately for me, I never got around to bringing it in to work and it eventually found it's way back into my CD player a few years later. I was never an angst-ridden teen, but if I had been at that time, this album would have spoken to me in so many ways. Instead I just appreciated the way Stephan Jenkins could take themes like teen suicide made them so personal without sounding heavy-handed.
12. Rage Against The Machine : Rage Against The Machine
When I was driving to work back in 1992, "Killing In The Name" played on the radio and suddenly rock music never sounded the same again. This was the first CD I had ever purchased that had the "Parental Advisory" sticker on the front (this was also before they forced retailers to check IDs). As if the album cover wasn't shocking enough (click here if I've peaked your interest) the pure and unfiltered rawness of Tom Morello's guitar mixed with Zack de la Rocha's vocals was something I had never heard before. It changed how I looked at life and my country (to a degree). The album isn't vulgar, but be aware of the "Explicit Content" as Zack drops the f-bomb throughout the entire album, except for the last track, which is rather odd.
13. Empire : Queensrÿche
I think I wore the tape out on this album, only skipping past the overplayed "Silent Lucidity" that plagued MTV in 1990 (when MTV used to play music videos). Queensrÿche had the ability to walk the the thin line between rock and heavy metal, making Empire very accessible to the general public without bashing your head into the wall. They also seemed like the first "hair metal band" that had a leader singer who actually had a decent voice and knew how to use it.
14. The Joshua Tree : U2
I was familiar with U2 for several years. My sister had followed them throughout most of the 1980s, but I never really dug into their back catalog until after graduating high school and came across this gem. Everyone had said it was a fantastic album, probably their best, but as much as I enjoyed the singles from that record, I never learned to appreciate it until much later.
15. Mer de Noms : A Perfect Circle
What do you get when you remove the wierd tendancies from Tool, but keep the haunting vocals of Maynard James Keenan and add their former guitar tech into the mix? A Perfect Circle. When I first heard the single "Judith" on the radio, I was wondering when the new Tool CD was going to be released. Maynard's voice is unmistakable, but the sound was rather different. Once I discovered the album, I couldn't stop playing it. It's production value was so clean and crisp without the strange eight-minute sound effect tracks that usually came with most Tool releases.
So, without further adu, my Top 15 Albums:
1. Ten : Pearl Jam
The quintessential album of the 1990s. I can't even remember the first time I heard this album, but it soon embodied what everything was about high school and how this specific genre of music, known as grunge, seemed to speak to my generation. Pearl Jam has yet to ever trap lightening in a bottle again as they did with this recording, although their sophmore follow-up, Vs. was pretty close.
2. OK Computer : Radiohead
I didn't really care for Radiohead when they first hit the music scene with their single "Creep." It wasn't until about three years after this album released that I was re-introduced to them by my new co-worker and friend Dave Nelson. I bought the CD, popped it into my deck as I drove home and didn't really care for it. But then something happened. I kept listening to it over and over again. Before I knew it, I had to force myself to listen to something else. This was, in my honest opinion, the perfect example of Alternative Rock.
3. In Loving Memory Of... : Big Wreck
Sometimes the best finds are the ones you get for free. My friend Brandon gave me a copy of this CD when I was working with him several years ago. He told me it was one of the best produced albums he had heard recently (like I really knew or understood what that meant at the time). Since it's introduction to my collection (with a legitimate copy, I might add), I still find the album thoroughly refreshing. Too bad the Canadian band didn't get much air play down here in the states before they broke up.
4. Achtung Baby : U2
This was, if memory serves me correctly, the first Compact Disc I ever bought. It was when they were still packaging them in the long cardboard covers used as some kind of theft deterrent. U2 seemed to be one of only a few music artists of their time that were capable of reinventing themselves, and they did just that with album. It was such a diversion from what they had done in the past, it was nothing that I had ever heard before. I was taken by it almost immediately.
5. Train of Thought : Dream Theater
Dream Theater was another band that took some time before I actually enjoyed listening to them. I recognized their talent almost immediately, but wasn't familiar nor comfortable with their style just yet. It took several years and many re-visits to certain CDs to appreciate them. This album, however, spoke to me immediately and I feel it is their most accomplished set.
6. Crash : Dave Matthews Band
I was never on the inside track when indie and college campus artists were starting to hit the scene. I knew a few friends who enjoyed Dave Matthews Band who loved them before they were all over mainstream radio. However, once they broke through, I couldn't get enough and this, to me, is their best recording, while Under the Table and Dreaming is a close second. I also gained a new admiration of this album when I started dating my wife.
7. The Bends : Radiohead
I purchased this album along with OK Computer. Both albums had the same affect upon their first playing. I didn't like it. But it eventually grew on me and now I can't imagine ever being without this CD in my collection. Either Radiohead was ahead of it's time musically or it took some time before I matured in my musical appreciation.
8. American Idiot : Green Day
Political themes aside, I was blown away the first time I listened to this album from beginning to end. I had been a Green Day fan for close to a decade when they release this back in 2004. It made me realize how much Billie Joe Armstrong had matured as lyricist as well as a musician. While most believe that Dookie is their unsung masterpiece, I will always point to this album first.
9. The Dark Side Of The Moon : Pink Floyd
My best friend Ryan started listening to Pink Floyd soon after high school, but I wasn't having any part of it. It wouldn't be until much later that I learned to appreciate the brilliance of David Gilmour and Roger Waters. I still have a hard time connecting with anything involving Syd Barrett. I am sorry to admit, however, that I have yet to play this album simultaneously while watching The Wizard Of Oz.
10. Abby Road : The Beatles
My good buddy Travis turned me on to listening to The Beatles, and while I greatly enjoyed the brilliance of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, I really connected with Abby Road. Each song plays like a mini masterpiece, showing how much depth and range each member had and what they brought to the table contributed to the uniqueness of each track.
11. Third Eye Blind : Third Eye Blind
I almost gave this CD away upon it's first listening to a co-worker. Fortunately for me, I never got around to bringing it in to work and it eventually found it's way back into my CD player a few years later. I was never an angst-ridden teen, but if I had been at that time, this album would have spoken to me in so many ways. Instead I just appreciated the way Stephan Jenkins could take themes like teen suicide made them so personal without sounding heavy-handed.
12. Rage Against The Machine : Rage Against The Machine
When I was driving to work back in 1992, "Killing In The Name" played on the radio and suddenly rock music never sounded the same again. This was the first CD I had ever purchased that had the "Parental Advisory" sticker on the front (this was also before they forced retailers to check IDs). As if the album cover wasn't shocking enough (click here if I've peaked your interest) the pure and unfiltered rawness of Tom Morello's guitar mixed with Zack de la Rocha's vocals was something I had never heard before. It changed how I looked at life and my country (to a degree). The album isn't vulgar, but be aware of the "Explicit Content" as Zack drops the f-bomb throughout the entire album, except for the last track, which is rather odd.
13. Empire : Queensrÿche
I think I wore the tape out on this album, only skipping past the overplayed "Silent Lucidity" that plagued MTV in 1990 (when MTV used to play music videos). Queensrÿche had the ability to walk the the thin line between rock and heavy metal, making Empire very accessible to the general public without bashing your head into the wall. They also seemed like the first "hair metal band" that had a leader singer who actually had a decent voice and knew how to use it.
14. The Joshua Tree : U2
I was familiar with U2 for several years. My sister had followed them throughout most of the 1980s, but I never really dug into their back catalog until after graduating high school and came across this gem. Everyone had said it was a fantastic album, probably their best, but as much as I enjoyed the singles from that record, I never learned to appreciate it until much later.
15. Mer de Noms : A Perfect Circle
What do you get when you remove the wierd tendancies from Tool, but keep the haunting vocals of Maynard James Keenan and add their former guitar tech into the mix? A Perfect Circle. When I first heard the single "Judith" on the radio, I was wondering when the new Tool CD was going to be released. Maynard's voice is unmistakable, but the sound was rather different. Once I discovered the album, I couldn't stop playing it. It's production value was so clean and crisp without the strange eight-minute sound effect tracks that usually came with most Tool releases.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Next
What do you hope is around the next bend in the road?
I hope for a new job that I can thoroughly enjoy that will work with the family schedule I seriously desire. I hope for fulfillment with that job and it brings peace to my soul. I'm not overly concerned with how much I make, but that it will provide for my family.
I also hope for a chain link fence soon, too. Where our pooch can freely roam in her own backyard rather than being stuck to a 30-foot lead. Maybe then, in the not too distant future, she might get a new friend.
I hope for a new job that I can thoroughly enjoy that will work with the family schedule I seriously desire. I hope for fulfillment with that job and it brings peace to my soul. I'm not overly concerned with how much I make, but that it will provide for my family.
I also hope for a chain link fence soon, too. Where our pooch can freely roam in her own backyard rather than being stuck to a 30-foot lead. Maybe then, in the not too distant future, she might get a new friend.
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