5 Reasons Why The Liquidation Didn't Suck

#5 - MAKING YOUR OWN SCHEDULE / DRESS CODE

When the final weeks had arrived, several supervisors had been stripped of their title, their register and time card overriding abilities and had their keys taken away. Most of them, along with every other associate, decided that they didn't care what they wore, as long as they still wore their Circuit City shirt. For at least one former supervisor, he came in everyday in jeans, tennis shoes and a ball cap. He was so fed up with everything that by the time the last day came, he walked in, realized that he couldn't take it anymore, shook my hand and walked out.

#4 - FRUIT LOOP

Three days before close, an irate customer came in claiming that he had spoken to our corporate offices and said he was allowed to return his Circuit City Advantage Plan (extended warranty). Our store director was brought in, who then quickly shouted, "This is private property, sir and I want you to GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE!" and then proceeded to escort him to the door. He said he wasn't going to leave, but was going to stand right outside the store and call our corporate offices again.

A few minutes later my store director contacted me on our two-way radios and asked, "Nathan, has that fruit loop left yet? Cause I've printed out all the documentation about our return policies during liquidation." I jokingly replied, "Yeah, he left. Once he got off the phone, he came in and asked which car he could key and I pointed him in the direction of yours." We all had a nice laugh.

#3 - READING WHILE WORKING

Getting stuck up at the receipt-stamping table stunk if you were there most of your shift. The days began to drag horribly because you had nothing to do but answer the most retarded and mundane questions from every customer that walked into the store. What was worse than all of it, was having apathetic sales employees who were standing at my table who weren't willing to assist the continual flood of customers who kept asking for help out on the sales floor. Once I had to endure one 8 hour shift, I decided to bring in my book and read it in between stamping receipts. It probably cut down on the stupid questions by a good 20% and I finished my book with two days to spare.

#2 - CUSTOMERS CALL THE POLICE

Three days before closing, a couple came in and purchased a $330 monitor for approximately $50. It was an open item, possibly a display. They returned to the store soon after the purchase, as they had discovered it wasn't working. They paraded up and down the entire store, trying to get someone "in charge" to process a return for them. When they discovered that little stunt wouldn't work, they tried another one: calling the police.

When the police arrived, the customers accosted the poor officer, who had to stand there and listen to them bitch for what seemed like 15 minutes. They tried to convince the officer that they had been a victim of "theft by deception." The officer politely, but blatantly, pointed to the sign outside and said, "Look. Right there. The sign reads 'GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE.' There are signs posted throughout the store, as well as stamped on your receipt, 'ALL SALES FINAL. NO RETURNS.' What part of that do you not understand?"

#1 – THE BEST LUNCH BREAK EVER

As the days wore on, it became increasingly difficult to find things to do if you weren't scheduled in the morning. If you weren't assigned to either a register (which was hard enough to get customer service to stay put), or stuck at the receipt-stamping table, you either got stuck walking the sales floor "assisting customers," hiding in the back while surfing on the Internet, or most associates ended up standing around the receipt-stamping table bulls***ing with everyone else.

Not wanting to waste the entire day doing nothing while getting paid (I know it sounds like a dream job, but knowing what the end result will be, it got to you after a while if you're generally a productive person), so I decided to do what any other bright-minded individual would do with an afternoon to spare: Go to the movies!

At approximately 12:40 pm, I left the store, swung by Wendy's and wolfed down three burgers, on the way to the multiplex. As I sat in the darkened theater waiting for The Wrestler to start, I was half expecting to get at least one phone call or text message from a manager asking me where I was. Thankfully that never happened. What was even more amusing was that the film started 10 minutes late and had at least 20+ minutes of trailers before the feature even started. I didn't stroll back into the store until a quarter past three. Not one question was asked to where I had been. It was like I had never left in the first place.

Honorable Mentions: Telling customers that we couldn't return their product, which for some reason, they couldn't seem to comprehend; Stashing product in the warehouse until the sales dropped to 70% off; Playing Liquidation BINGO.