Dead Inside. A Short Story. Part 1.

PREFACE

About six months ago I started writing a short story. The idea came from a failed screenplay that my writing partner and I had finally given up after three solid attempts to resurrect it from a failing third act.

At first I thought we might have struck gold. The idea was something just different enough that if we kept at it, we thought we might have the beginnings of an excellent independent feature film. Unfortunately, that was not the case. We needed to exercise the demons and start on something fresh.

When we had both come to the crossroads once again, I told James that I was pulling the trigger on this one. The script wasn't going anywhere and we kept getting stuck around page 60. The idea first came about when James had been fighting some personal demons; ones that had been haunting him for a long time that he used as inspiration for spinning this story.

So now you get to read my feeble attempt at short fiction. I'm not sure how long this short story will be, since I have yet to finish it myself. However, if I hold myself accountable by posting this story, a chapter at a time at regular intervals, I just might finish it.

I hope you enjoy it. Your comments are most welcome. If at any time this story suddenly disappears from my posts, it means that the idea has one again been resurrected into script form (probably inspiring James to pick it up again). Until then, I give you the first chapter of...

DEAD INSIDE

A short story by Nathan J. Eddy

Chapter 1

“So, what do you think?”

No response. Trent turns to look at his wife only to see her stare absently out the passenger’s side window. So beautiful, he thinks, not glamorously beautiful, but naturally beautiful. He never did understand why she tries to hide behind so much make-up. A trait that was more than likely passed down from her mother.

Trent clears his throat and tries again; this time a little louder. “What do you think?”

“Huh?” Lily responds, whipping her head towards him, but somehow avoiding eye contact. She looks down, distracted and detached.

“I was asking what you thought about this weekend.”

“Honestly Trent, I could care less.” Lily turns her head back to the window, re-engaging her blank stare, then closing her eyes.

Trent grips the steering wheel a little tighter now; his knuckles slowly turning white. Six words, six little words strung together as they were cutting with the precision of only the most skilled surgeon. Comments like that make him wonder why he ever got married in the first place. Exhaling slowly, and trying not to draw attention to himself, he fiddles with the radio, hoping to find a solid signal.

With her eyes still closed, Lily blurts out, “I can’t believe you didn’t bring anything to listen to knowing we were going to be on the road for four hours.”

“I didn’t forget my CDs on purpose Lily, if that’s what you’re implying. I don’t normally drive this car, remember?”

“Whatever.” Lily turns on her side, facing the passenger door. Maybe if she can fall asleep, this mind-numbing trip will end that much sooner. Trent smiles briefly at his small victory.

In that small moment of peace, if you want to call it that, their Land Rover speeds down the two-lane highway as the sun slowly rises over the horizon, filling the muddy blue-black sky with hints of orange and magenta. Pine trees and Douglas firs populate the mountains; the winding slab of asphalt marring the beauty of what very well could be a Bob Ross painting.

Running his hands through his short blond hair, Trent clicks off the radio in frustration. What's the point? The driver's side window slowly descends as he presses his finger firmly on the button when Lily barks, “Don’t even think about it.”

“But baby, I need some fresh air. If I have to drive without any music, I need at least a steady stream of cool air to keep me from dozing off at the wheel.”

“It’s not my fault you wanted to leave this early, so suck it up. It’s freezing outside and if you open that window, I’m never going to be able to fall back asleep.”

Feeling torn, wanting to catch a glimpse of Lily's long auburn hair blowing around her face, hear her laugh, remembering drives like these not so terribly long ago. The driver’s side door hums as Trent’s window moves back up into its original position. He squints several times and smacks himself in the face trying to wake up, then looks down at his watch: 6:43 AM. He rolls his eyes and focuses his attention back on the road.

A quiet buzz emanates near Lily’s feet. Casually reaching down to her purse, hoping Trent won't notice, she digs around and pulls out her Blackberry. Swiftly, Lily types a response with her nimble thumbs. In a short glance, Trent tries not to show that he’s upset, but his cheeks flush just slightly. Not wanting to acknowledge what he sees her doing, his hands find their way back to the dead air that is the car stereo.

Without taking her eyes off of her phone, “Stop wasting your time. You’re never going to find anything out here in B-F-E.”

“Do you have to be so damn negative all the time?” Toying with the knobs ever-so-gently, Trent hopes to find a signal that might make his wife eat her own words.

“I’m just trying to save you the eventual grief of your futile attempt for a radio station. That’s all.”

“Why don’t you stop worrying about my futile attempt and get back to what’s more than likely a work email that you can’t even leave alone for the weekend?”

Hoping to breathe some life into his valiant efforts, Trent flips the bands from FM to AM. White noise fills the car with no avail. All of a sudden a voice breaks through, loud and flamboyant; an evangelical preacher trying to save the souls of his listening audience. Finishing her message, Lily presses send on her Blackberry as she places in her lap.

“Do not leave it on this.” Her annoyance level already reaching Def-Con 1.

The preacher’s voice fades in and out and then away completely before Trent can respond, almost in obedience to Lily’s command. His search continues, pausing several times, but still with no success. After several near misses, the sounds of a mariachi band pops from the speakers. Trent chuckles at the music and announces, “I didn’t even know we had Mexicans living this far up north.”

Lily looks down at her phone waiting for it to vibrate again. After Trent’s comment, Lily starts to wonder why she ever tied the knot with this ass. She starts to think about Trent and what he used to be. What he used to represent and how much he’s changed since then. He had such aspirations; talked of greatness back when they met in college.

Sometimes it felt like yesterday, when they ran into each other at the library. She was doing research for her Poly-Sci paper while he was just wasting time while his roommate was making his moves on a girl that he'd been pining over for the past three months from his business accounting class. Flipping through the latest hardback Stephen King novel he had just checked out, with his nose buried in the third chapter, he didn't even notice her on the ground tying her shoe.

But even after four rejections, Trent asked her out once more as they crossed paths for the fifth time in less than a week. He felt it was more than just coincidence while Lily thought that she might as well just put this guy out of his misery. Just say yes, and then you can get back to your life once this date goes down flames on Friday night. Six months later they were engaged.

Lily was drawn to Trent in many ways, but mostly she was drawn to him because he wasn't her father. Trent was someone who wouldn’t jump down her throat when she came home late. He never asked questions because he trusted her. He didn’t judge her by her actions, but by her character. And as the years past, she began to realize how much she was just trying to get out from under her father’s grasp and how she used Trent as an escape; whose ambition went flying out the window when he took the first job offered to him for security right out of college. Now she’s running her father’s foundation and Trent has moved all the way up to the invisibility of middle management.

The mariachi music cuts out quickly as Trent hits the seek button once again. Static and interference once again pollute the Land Rover as he desperately tries to find anything better than his last two failed attempts. Almost reaching his breaking point, Trent hits the seek button once more when a warbling Hank Williams fills the airwaves with “Lovesick Blues.” His hand—at first hesitant, almost ready to keep searching—dangles in mid-air for a brief moment before settling back onto the steering wheel.

“You have got to be kidding me,” growls Lily in protest to The Drifting Cowboy. “There’s no way I’m going to listen to this country bumpkin crap!” Lily’s phone vibrates and she immediately picks it up. “I feel like we should be in a pick-up truck with a dog in the back.”

“Ah, come on. It’s not that bad,” defends Trent. He’s ecstatic that he’s found anything on the radio at the moment. “Besides, this station’s got both kinds. Country and Western.” Trent smirks, looking at Lily, but disappointed, realizes that the joke has gone over her head. He lets it go, turning his attention back to the road.

Lily begins to mash the keys on her Blackberry; an outward defiance to the torturous melodies emanating from the speakers. The last thing she wanted to do was to listen to country music for the remainder of the trip.

Before she can counter with another argument, Trent turns the radio down to a tolerable volume level in hopes of keeping the bickering to a minimum. Lily turns her attention back to her Blackberry, which has received another message.

His eyes cut over to Lily’s phone but he decides not to say anything else. The fact that she hasn’t piped up again in protest over the music was a triumph. Opening his mouth to comment on her working while they’re supposed to be disconnecting from their world for the next two days would just have to wait until they arrived at the cabin. Besides, he always felt better confronting Lily when Dr. Cruzan was present. Trent knew he didn’t have a backbone, but he also didn’t care right now. All he truly cared about was that this weekend could be the big breakthrough he's been wanting all along.